Adding Value(s): Stacking Underlying Desire
Archetypes provide us with 4 core motivations to explore:
- Freedom & the Pursuit of Variety (difference and novelty in our day-to-day),
- Legacy & the Pursuit of Significance (feeling special, important, or useful),
- Connection & the Pursuit of Togetherness (social, familial, or romantic connection) and,
- Order & the pursuit of Certainty (order in one’s life, knowing certain things are known).
Two further needs I want to share with you today are: Growth and Contribution.
Growth
In the grand tapestry of existence, everything is in a perpetual state of either growth or decline. Morbid, huh?
As humans, personal growth is vital to a fulfilling life – spiritually, intellectually, physically, and emotionally. Striving for development in areas of importance for us (and even areas which seem unimportant) is the key to achieving a balanced and healthy existence.
We find the benefits of growth in their opposite – the consequences of stagnation are undeniable. If we cease to be physically active, our bodies deteriorate. When intellectual growth ceases, our memories fade. Moreover, a halt in emotional and psychological growth leads us backward in our ability to process thoughts, emotions, and behaviours appropriately.
The ultimate truth emerges: when growth halts, we begin to lose the essence of life itself. Whatever we cherish most – be it marriage, health, relationships, career success, integrity, wealth, love, generosity, contribution, or virtue – all require continual cultivation and effort. The path to nurturing these aspects of life demands dedication and hard work, but the rewards are immeasurable.
Contribution
Contribution – the act of looking beyond oneself – transcends personal needs and selflessly bestows upon others without any expectation of personal gain. It is the act of giving back to people, causes, or movements, and making a meaningful difference in the world.
The ways in which we contribute are as diverse as our own unique qualities – talents, skills, abilities, interests, and desires. Each of us has a unique gift to offer, and contribution becomes a medium to share these gifts with the world.
The paramount significance of contribution lies in its ability to regulate the other human needs – earning its place as Big Daddy of human needs. By focusing on contribution, we naturally cultivate a sense of connection and love with others, as we extend a helping hand to uplift them. Engaging in acts of contribution adds variety and excitement to our lives, providing a break from the mundane routine.
Moreover, contribution fulfils the innate human need for significance, as it gives us the profound understanding that we are positively impacting lives and making a tangible difference. With each act of contribution, we find a sense of certainty, knowing that we have the power and ability to contribute meaningfully to the lives of others.
As we contribute, we embark on a journey of growth. It becomes a spiritual, mental, emotional, and even physical catalyst for personal development. The act of contributing serves as a vessel for growth in all dimensions of our being, enriching our lives and those we touch.
In the grand symphony of life, contribution emerges as the key to unlocking a sense of fulfilment. By selflessly giving of ourselves, we experience a deeper purpose and meaning, finding joy and contentment in making the world a better place.
Weaving Needs into the Tapestry of Desire
The more we are satisfied by something, the more we want to give more time and energy to it. Hedonism at its finest! Now, Hedonism gets a bad rap – most people think its wine, chaise-longues, and orgies (no judgment here, if that’s what you’re shooting for – I commend you) – but if utilised intentionally, Hedonism is a fantastic way to craft a life of meaning and purpose.
And one that’s also fun.
So for today’s task, I want to introduce the idea of ‘Desire Stacking’. The more needs we satisfy with something, the more importance it holds in our lives. The more our brains will focus on it.
Some examples:
A romantic relationship can fulfil:
- Togetherness (the love shared between you & your partner),
- Variety (you do fun things together, which in turn changes your physical and mental states),
- Certainty (knowing your partner will be there for you),
A good & consistent exercise regime can fulfil:
- Growth (positive physical changes occur in the body and brain),
- Significance (you know you’re doing something important for your overall health),
- Contribution (if you’re exercising in a group that feeds off your energy and presence).
Task: Look at what you are trying to achieve. First, which needs will be satisfied in the pursuit of this desire. Second, which needs will be satisfied in the attainment of this desire. Add them in ‘Take Notes’, and report back in The Group.
See you in the next one.